Say You Love Me (Welcome To Redemption #9) Read online

  Say You Love Me

  Welcome To Redemption, Book 9

  by

  Donna Marie Rogers

  Will a secret from the past destroy their second chance at love?

  Bernadette Mitchell thought she’d put the past to rest. At fifteen, pregnant, betrayed, and heartbroken by the baby’s father, she’d made an agonizing decision that she lives with every day. But she’s made the best of things…until an unthinkable tragedy turns her life upside down and brings the ghosts of her past back to town.

  Officer Mike Donovan is happy to be back home in Redemption where he plans to raise his little girl. He’s also on a mission—to win back the only woman he’s ever loved. Back in high school, he broke her heart with a horrific ultimatum. If he can convince her to give him another chance, he’ll spend the rest of their lives proving they belong together. But when he discovers she’s been keeping an unimaginable secret, one that shifts his whole world on its axis, he questions everything he thought he knew about her…about them.

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  Dedications

  For Noah Kersten—An amazing young man who is an inspiration to everyone who knows him.

  And Michael Donovan—A childhood friend and real-life American hero.

  Chapter 1

  “Can my daddy have this dance?”

  Bernadette Mitchell glanced down in surprise as the sweetest little voice she’d ever heard pulled her from her musings. An angel with curly red hair and plenty of freckles smiled up at her; a pair of big brown eyes glittered with hopeful curiosity.

  Maddie Donovan.

  And the little peanut was even cuter up close, especially dressed in a frilly, lavender satin party dress for Caleb and Lauren Hunter’s wedding party.

  Just as she opened her mouth to gently decline the offer, a pair of men’s black oxfords stepped into view. Bernie slowly raised her gaze past black, pleated dress slacks and a white, collared dress shirt—which fit its muscular owner like a glove—to face the last man on earth she wanted to exchange words with. Mike Donovan…Officer Mike Donovan.

  The gangly young boy she’d known since elementary school had grown into a ruggedly handsome man, his boyishly crooked smile now devilishly potent as he focused his intense gaze on her. Tall, dark, handsome.

  And definitely off limits.

  He’d started pursuing her again a couple of years ago, shortly after he and Maddie moved back to Redemption—which had been the first time she’d laid eyes on him since they were fifteen years old. And she’d done a pretty good job of avoiding him…up until now.

  Until she’d decided to take a break from the festivities and find a dark corner to sit, catch her breath, and collect her thoughts.

  Then her mind had wandered, and he’d managed to sneak up on her. Rather, send his precious little girl over to put her on the spot. The jerk.

  “Just one dance. Whad’ya say?”

  Lord, that deep, sexy voice was almost more than she could handle right now.

  She glanced past him, tempted to make a run for it. But Nino’s was packed, so no doubt a whirlwind of rumors would start up, and she certainly didn’t want to have to deal with that.

  Not again.

  “My daddy’s a real good dancer,” the adorable little stinker chimed in.

  A reluctant smile found its way to her lips as she looked from daughter to father and back again. One dance… As long as they didn’t talk about anything but the weather, what could it hurt?

  Bernie cocked a playful brow at Maddie. “You promise he won’t step on my feet? I’m wearing open-toe sandals.” She lifted her foot and wiggled it.

  Maddie gave a gap-toothed grin and sent those red curls bouncing with a definitive nod.

  “Fine, then. One dance.” She winked at her before meeting Mike’s amused gaze.

  “I’ll take what I can get.” He bent down and gave his daughter a kiss on the top of her head. “Thanks, squirt. Tell grandma to save me a slice of wedding cake, will you?”

  The little pixie gave another bob of her head and then skipped off, those little, black patent Mary Jane’s beating a quick path across the room until she disappeared into the crowd.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself,” Bernie admonished as he led her out onto the dance floor. The slow strains of “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton suddenly flowed through the sound system, and a groan escaped her before she could stop it. Why couldn’t a fast tune like “Celebration” or “Let’s Get It Started” have come on?

  “Maybe I should.”

  He held her hand tight, as if afraid she would bolt, while his arm slid around her, holding her much too close for comfort. His cologne, spicy and seductive, enveloped her, the subtle scent as intoxicating as his deep voice.

  “But hell, I’ve tried everything else. You won’t talk to me. You won’t accept my calls. When you see me coming, you run in the other direction.”

  She frowned. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration.”

  “No, it’s not. You avoid me at all costs.”

  “Can you blame me?” she countered in a furious whisper.

  “It was fifteen years ago, Bernie. Christ, I was a scared kid and—”

  “I don’t want to talk about this,” she insisted, trying to tug her hand free as emotions long buried bubbled to the surface. Damn him.

  Frustration knit his brow, and he glanced around as if checking to see if they’d made a scene. He led her off the dance floor, and she had no choice but to follow as he held her hand in a tight grip. She was careful not to make eye contact with anyone as they wound their way through the restaurant and out the front door.

  The surprisingly cool, early August night air was like heaven against her heated skin. The overhead street lamps lit the area well enough that she could make out the intensity of his stare as he stopped and let go of her hand.

  “We need to talk about this,” he insisted, tucking his hands inside the front pockets of his slacks. “I need to talk about it. I’ve been trying to apologize to you forever. I just…I’m so sorry.” He stepped closer and reached out, capturing both of her hands. “I was a kid. I-I had no idea what to do or say, and I was scared to death of what would happen once our parents found out. So, I said some horrible things I didn’t mean and wished I could take back almost immediately. Only, by the time I’d worked up the nerve to tell my mom…you’d already lost the baby.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes before spilling down her cheeks. She pulled her hands free and angrily swiped them away. Only she wasn’t sure who she was angrier with, Mike, or herself. If only he’d said all this before she’d made the choice she had. The choice she’d felt was her only option at the time.

  “Please don’t cry,” he said in a near whisper. He reached and gently wiped a tear from her cheek. “I screwed up. I was so in love with you…you have to know that.”

  She swallowed and stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself, more confused and uncertain of her choices than she’d ever been. She wanted to run home and lock the door, hide from the world until…until when? It’s not like she could turn back time and erase past mistakes, forge a new path and future. Neither could he. They were both stuck in this mess of their own making.

  Only, it went so much deeper than even he knew. And she couldn’t tell him. Even if she wanted to—and Lord help her, part of her wanted to confess all—she’d signed papers, sworn to keep her secret forever.

  Clearing her throat, she forced her lips into some semblance of a smile. “I appreciate everything you said. You were right, we, uh…we needed to ta
lk about it. I’ve been holding a grudge, and I guess…well, you know I have a stubborn streak.”

  “Bernadette—”

  “Look, this is all I can handle right now, okay? Please, Mike. This was…good. But it’s been a long day, so I think I’m going to grab my purse and head home.” She took a couple of steps, then turned and added, “She’s beautiful. You’re a very lucky man.”

  Without giving him a chance to respond, she hurried back inside. Unfortunately, after saying her goodbyes to the bride and groom, she failed to make it past her boss and closest friend, Lindy Spalding, who turned around just as Bernie attempted to sneak past.

  “Hey, I was looking for you.” Lindy came up and twined her arm with hers. Almost seven months pregnant, the blonde stunner had that proverbial glow, even under the harsh fluorescent lights.

  “Sorry. I’ve got a killer headache. Think I’m just going to head home.”

  Her boss, whose family owned the canning plant where Bernie worked as executive assistant, frowned and leaned in to examine her more closely. “You do look a little pale. Sure it doesn’t have something to do with a certain sexy cop I saw you dancing with?” Blue eyes narrowed, as if daring her to lie.

  “Mike…used his adorable little girl to trick me into a dance with him. I couldn’t very well say no.”

  “And?”

  “And nothing,” Bernie assured her. “We danced for a few minutes, talked for a few minutes. That’s that.”

  “Hmm.”

  “I’m fine, I promise. But I truly do have a headache. All I want to do is pop a couple Advil and climb into bed.”

  Lindy continued to examine her. “Are you sure?”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “Boy, those mothering instincts kick in early, don’t they?”

  “All right, fine,” her friend finally conceded. “Would you like me to ask Drew to drive you home?”

  Drew Porter, who owned and operated D.P. Tire & Auto, doted on his pregnant fiancée like nobody’s business and, in a show of support, had opted for soda instead of champagne.

  “No, I’m good. I only had one glass of champagne, and that was before supper.”

  Lindy hugged her. “Call me tomorrow?”

  “You bet. ’Night.”

  The moon was full, and as she drove home, her mind drifted to a similar night so many years ago. The night her world had been irrevocably changed forever. The night Mike—the one person she thought she could trust—crushed her heart into a billion pieces with one unthinkable demand.

  Giving her head a shake—she’d visited the past plenty enough for one night—Bernie turned into her driveway and pressed the button on her visor to open the garage, then pulled in and pressed the button again to close it. Instead of heading into the house, she sat in her car and stared at the wall where her tiller and other gardening implements hung, but saw nothing except the past.

  Why did it still hurt so much to see him, to talk to him? Did she begrudge him his little girl? He hadn’t wanted their baby, but he’d gone on to start a family with someone else. Sure, the circumstances were completely different—she and Mike had been children when she’d discovered she was pregnant. She’d been horrified, scared to death.

  But also…excited. Mike’s baby had been growing inside of her. Cosmic proof of their love. Yes, they were young. No, they didn’t have any right bringing a helpless baby into the world. Heck, neither of them had even been old enough to get the kind of job required to support themselves and a baby. But somehow, she believed they’d make it work. They’d be a happy little family.

  And then her young dreams had been shattered. Mike didn’t throw his arms around her and whisper how much he loved her, and their baby. He freaked out, yelled at her, and accused her of getting pregnant on purpose. Then he’d said the words she’d heard in her nightmares for years to come.

  “You have to get an abortion.”

  Pushing that awful night back into the far recesses of her mind, Bernie grabbed her purse and climbed from the car. Once inside the house, she kicked off her heels, tossed her purse on the counter, and turned on her Keurig machine. A cup of vanilla chai tea sounded like heaven. That and a hot bath.

  She’d just stirred in some sugar when she realized her answering machine was blinking. Three new messages. She pressed the PLAY button, then sat at the kitchen table and sipped her tea.

  The first message was from the dentist’s office. She needed to make an appointment for her six-month cleaning. The second was a few seconds of unintelligible…sobbing? Very strange…had to be a wrong number.

  The third was from her mom.

  “Bernadette, honey, I need you to call me as soon as you get this. You’re not picking up your cell, and I really need to talk to you.”

  Concerned by her mother’s ominous tone, she set her mug down and got up to grab her purse off the counter. She’d turned her cell phone off in church for the ceremony and never thought to turn it back on. Once she did, she saw that she had three messages from her mother, and one from a number she didn’t know, though she did recognize the Fargo area code. She didn’t bother listening to any of them. Instead, she set her cell down and grabbed the landline.

  Her mother picked up on the first ring.

  “Thank God. I…I have news, baby,” her mother announced, her tone dire. “Are you sitting?”

  Her pulse sped up. Rosemary Landau was not one for dramatics. She sat. “Mom, what is it? You’re scaring me.”

  “Honey…your father and Natalie were in a car accident. They…they’re both gone. Thomas was pronounced dead at the scene, and Natalie at the hospital. I’m so sorry.”

  The room spun as she digested her mother’s inconceivable announcement. “What? But…I just spoke to Dad last night, he… Oh, my God! Noah? Was he in the car, is he…?” Tears streamed down her face as she cupped her mouth, the horror of the situation almost too much to bear.

  “Noah is fine,” her mother quickly assured her.” He was spending the night at a friend’s house when it happened.”

  Thank you, God. Thank you.

  “Bernie, talk to me. Are you okay? I’ll drive down if you want me to, just say the word.”

  “I’m okay, just…tell me exactly what happened? I mean, I just talked to him.” A sob escaped her. She struggled to draw in a breath as the realization set in that she’d never be able to talk to her father again. Or Natalie, her stepmother, whom she loved dearly. Her parents had divorced when she was a toddler, so Natalie had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember.

  “I know, baby, and I’m so sorry.” She could hear the tears in her mother’s voice as well. “All I know is they were driving home on Highway 10 when they were hit by an oncoming SUV. The other driver, a young woman, is hospitalized, but in stable condition.”

  “I just…I can’t believe this is happening.” Her stomach churned as she teetered on the verge of vomiting. “Where is Noah now? What’s going to happen to him?”

  “That’s something else I need to talk to you about. When I spoke with Natalie’s mom, she claimed it was your father and Natalie’s wish that should anything ever happen to them…you become Noah’s legal guardian.”

  “Me?” Bernie clutched the phone as panic gripped her. “But Trina lives with them. Why would they choose to uproot him instead of letting his grandmother—”

  “Honey, Trina is seventy-six years old and wheelchair bound. How could she possibly take care of a teenage boy? In fact, she’s going to have to make other arrangements for herself since she can’t live alone in her condition. And Natalie’s sister said she’d take him if she could, but she has five kids of her own. That’s why Noah’s still at his friend’s house. The boy’s parents very kindly offered to let him stay with them until you arrived.”

  Countless different emotions coursed through her, making it hard to breathe. To have Noah with her, living under her roof, was like a dream come true. But bringing him home to Redemption? The thought was almost unfathomable. If anyon
e were ever to discover her secret, not only would her life change forever, so would Noah’s.

  Though…isn’t that exactly what just happened with the death of his parents?

  That poor kid.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and held her fisted hand against her heart.

  “Bernadette Sophia, please say something.”

  After a quick gulp of her chai, she assured, “I’m okay. Just…scared.”

  “I know. It’ll be an adjustment. But Noah loves you, you know that. And he’s probably even more scared right now than you are. Not to mention alone.”

  A fresh wave of sorrow expanded her chest. She hadn’t thought of that. He’d just lost his parents and was about to be taken away from the only home he’d ever known. Plus, school would be starting in less than a month.

  There was something oddly comforting about the thought of Noah going to the same school she and his…

  Nope, don’t go there. Not now.

  What she needed to do now was book a flight to North Dakota to bring home her son.

  Chapter 2

  Mike tossed the phone in its cradle with a silent curse and shoved to his feet. Labor Day weekend, the end-of-summer last hurrah before the kids went back to school. And for some reason, the good people of Redemption had been getting into all sorts of mischief. Man, he hadn’t been this busy since New Year’s Eve. And with Sheriff Chase Lowell out of town visiting his fiancée, Hannah, for the weekend, Mike had twice the workload as normal.

  Not to mention, his back-up today, Officer John Marone, was the same douche Bernie had been dating when Mike returned to Redemption. They hadn’t been together long, just a few months or so, but it still irked him to know the guy had known his Bernadette in…the biblical sense.

  He didn’t know why it bugged him. Not like he’d been a saint over the years, and he knew Bernie had dated others as well. But dammit, it did. Maybe it was some kind of macho cop bullshit.