Say You Love Me (Welcome To Redemption #9) Read online

  He shrugged, but remained quiet.

  Once the waffles were done, Bernie doused them with syrup, just the way he liked, and set them in front of him. “Eat up. I’m going to jump in the shower.” She headed for the stairs. “I told Lindy we’d get there around eleven.”

  “Do they have a swimming pool?”

  She spun back around. “Ooh, glad you asked. Bring your suit with. There’s a pool on Matt’s side.”

  “On Matt’s side?”

  “Matt and Carrie own houses on opposite blocks,” she explained. “But their backyards connect, so they tore the fence down between them.”

  A thoughtful frown quirked his brow as he stuffed a bite of syrup-drenched waffle in his mouth. After washing it down with a gulp of orange juice, he said, “I thought they were, like, a married couple or something.”

  “They are. A couple, that is, not married. They’re also both as stubborn as the day is long. Carrie refuses to sell her house, which is kind of understandable since she grew up there. But Matt’s house is quite a bit bigger—something I suppose he’s used to seeing as how he grew up in a mansion out in L.A.”

  “No shit?”

  “Noah,” she said in a warning tone.

  “Relax. God, you’re my sister, not my mother.”

  Wow. One innocently spoken comment, and Bernie wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I am your mother, she longed to toss back. But she couldn’t. She’d never be able to make him understand why she’d let his grandfather and step-grandmother adopt him. He’d hate her, thinking she hadn’t wanted him, or worse—had been ashamed of him.

  And then there was Mike. She’d kept his son from him for fourteen years. Oh, she’d had her reasons—good reasons. Or so they’d seemed at the time. But…

  Stop it, she silently scolded. You made your bed long ago. Now you need to lie in it. Noah’s in your life, and he loves you. That’s going to have to be enough.

  But what about Mike? her heart argued. He deserves a chance to get to know his son, doesn’t he? Even if only on a friendship level.

  A slow pounding started in the back of her skull. Having Noah live so far away had allowed her to keep her feelings of yearning and inadequacy bottled up inside. Now, looking into that handsome young face day after day—a face she and Mike created—was as wonderful as it was torturous.

  “Hey, sis, you in there?”

  She cleared her throat at the hand waving in front of her. “Sorry. I have a headache coming on. Think I’ll take a couple Advil, then jump in the shower. Are you full? You want me to make you some more waffles first?”

  “Thanks, Mom,” he teased. “But I know how to use a toaster.”

  Bernie stuck her tongue out at the little shit, though her heart had lurched at the flippantly tossed out moniker. Of course, he had no idea of the inner turmoil he’d just caused her. It was her cross to bear and hers alone. Because the thought of Noah calling her ‘Mom’ one day for real was as heady as it was impossible.

  Chapter 5

  Though they’d only been together a little over a year, Matt and Carrie’s backyard barbecues had become the place to be for most warm weather holidays. And as always, Bernie had to circle the block twice before she found a place to park.

  “Was everyone in town invited to this thing, or what?” Noah asked as he gazed around in amazement.

  “Pretty much.”

  As they made their way down the sidewalk, she couldn’t help but notice how his eyes scanned up and down the street. And she knew exactly who the little Casanova was looking for—Holly Marone.

  Trying not to smile, she led him to Matt’s front porch. Just as she lifted her hand to knock, the door flew open, and there stood a beaming Lindy, who’d obviously been watching for them.

  “Hi! Come on in.” She gave Bernie a hug and Noah a pat on the shoulder. “Did you have any trouble finding a parking spot?”

  “You mean besides having to circle the block twice?” she teased.

  Lindy laughed. “People have been showing up since ten. This is the fourth barbecue they’ve thrown, and Matt said they’re expecting their biggest crowd yet.” She grabbed Bernie’s hand and led them through the house and out the back patio doors. “He and Caleb already recruited Drew to help man the grills.”

  She sounded so proud, as if it was some great honor. Bernie grinned. “Did they buy him his own apron?”

  “He borrowed one of Matt’s. They said he couldn’t grill without one.”

  She laughed. Matt and Caleb’s aprons had become almost as big an attraction as the parties themselves. And as they made their way through the crowd toward them, Bernie could make out Caleb’s, which read, Taste My Sausage, while Matt’s proclaimed, It’s All Fun & Games Until Someone Burns Their Weiner. Drew wore one that read, Kiss the Cook, with an arrow pointing down.

  “Uh, sorry, honey, but not in my condition,” Lindy said with a laugh as she rubbed her very pregnant belly. Her eyes suddenly widened, and she sheepishly mouthed the word, “Sorry,” as if she’d forgotten Noah was standing there.

  Bernie turned and realized his attention was, thankfully, on Matt’s in-ground pool. Lots of people were already swimming, including Lauren’s kids, Max and Emma. Uh-oh. She glanced back at Noah, whose narrow-eyed gaze told her he’d spotted Max as well.

  She touched his arm and said in gentle warning, “I want you to promise me you won’t start any trouble today. Got it?”

  He turned back, his eyes brimming with hurt. “Which means you think I’m the one who started it the other day.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I just—”

  “Whatever.”

  With that snippy comeback, he stormed off and headed for the pool. She wanted to go after him, but Lindy put a restraining hand on her shoulder.

  “Let him go. It’ll be fine. Boys will be boys, isn’t that what they say? Let them work it out on their own. What you need to do is come grab something to drink and mingle. I happen to know there are several good-looking bachelors roaming around here.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  Bernie cast another glance at Noah, who stood at the edge of the pool, stripping off his T-shirt. After sending up a silent prayer for a drama-free day, she followed her friend over to the shaded, heavily laden food tables. That’s when Lindy’s last statement finally penetrated her brain.

  “Uh, no thanks. I’ve got enough to deal with right now, between work and caring for a testosterone-charged, moody teenager. I don’t think I could handle anything else.”

  “I happen to think it’s exactly what you need.”

  Lindy cast a dreamy look toward the grills, where her doting fiancé stood watching her like a hawk. He waved; she waved back, and Bernie playfully rolled her eyes. Though, in truth, she’d love to have what Lindy and Drew had. And someday, maybe she would.

  Just not with the man she wanted to have it with.

  Pushing thoughts of Mike from her head, she grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with the wonderful strawberry lemonade Carrie made for every party, and also sold in her café. Since she hadn’t eaten breakfast, she also filled a plate with several delicious-looking salads, and some fresh fruit. Lindy did the same, then led the way to an umbrella-covered table where Carrie was already seated with her neighbor, Lauren Hunter.

  “Hey, Bernie, how’ve you been?” Carrie asked.

  “Pretty good. Just busy, between work and taking care of my…brother. Getting him enrolled in school, etcetera. It’s been an adjustment.” She cast a quick glance at Lauren, Max’s mother, then back toward the pool where, so far, everything appeared to be drama-free.

  The blonde newlywed smiled kindly. “Don’t worry. I already had a little talk with Max about making an effort to be nice.”

  She smiled her relief. “I appreciate it. Noah’s a good kid, but I’m afraid having to move so far away from the only home he’s ever known, on top of losing his parents, has made him a little…surly.”

  “Which is completely understandable,” Lauren assured her
while Carrie nodded agreement. “Once school starts, and he makes some new friends, I’m sure he’ll settle in and start to feel at home here.”

  “Redemption has that effect on people,” Lindy added with a knowing grin.

  Bernie glanced back at her son in time to see him climb out of the pool and head for the house. That’s when she realized Holly and John Marone had arrived. John took the trays of what she assumed to be deviled eggs from his daughter’s arms, then nodded for her to go join the others. Noah’s face lit up as Holly shyly smiled up at him. She said something to her father before following him to the pool.

  “Now, there’s a good-looking single man,” her friend pointed out as John delivered the deviled eggs to the food tables. He then headed over to the grills to chat with the guys.

  “How do you know he’s single?” Lauren asked.

  “Let’s just say I have a sixth sense about these things.” The pregnant blonde grinned and added, “Plus, he’s not wearing a wedding band.”

  Lauren narrowed her eyes and gave her head a disbelieving shake. “How the hell can you see that all the way from here?”

  “Put your glasses on,” Carrie told her neighbor with a chuckle. Her brow creased suddenly. “Wait. Bernie, you already dated him, didn’t you?”

  Crap. “Yeah. Last year for a few months.”

  “So, what happened?” Lindy asked. “Why didn’t it work out?” Her friend’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh, wait…Is he the one?”

  Carrie and Lauren both leaned in, eager to hear whatever juicy gossip Lindy had alluded to.

  Bernie wasn’t ready to have another conversation with her ex, let alone talk about him with anyone else. But when she saw him heading their way, she realized the choice was out of her hands. Part of her was relieved, since that meant she wouldn’t have to answer Lindy’s question. At least, until later, since she knew her pit bull of a friend wouldn’t let it go until she got her answer.

  John strode up, a plate of food in one hand, a plastic cup in the other. “Ladies. Mind if I join you?”

  He looked expectantly at Bernie. She plastered a smile on her face and scooted over. “Of course not.”

  John set his cup down, which she could see held the pinkish lemonade, not beer. Not that she had a problem with social drinking. But he’d been drinking the night of the episode with his brother, and she most certainly didn’t want any kind of a repeat.

  He sat, picked up his fork, and ate a few bites of the potato salad, seemingly unaware that four sets of female eyes watched him with burning curiosity.

  “Wow, this is delicious.” He glanced at Bernie’s as of yet untouched food. “Have you tried it?”

  “No, we’ve been catching up. But Lauren does make the best potato salad I’ve ever had.”

  A slight blush stained Lauren’s cheeks. “High praise, thank you.”

  Feeling compelled, Bernie ate a couple of bites and let out a soft, “Mmm.” She sipped her lemonade, desperately searching her mind for a safe topic of conversation. “So, is Holly ready for school?”

  “She is.” He took a quick sip of his lemonade. “In fact, we had just finished school clothes shopping before we stopped for dinner the other night. Girls that age have to be in the latest fashion. Or so my ex-wife told me.” His rueful smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “Girls of all ages need to be in the latest fashion,” Lindy chimed in. Her tone had been teasing, though Bernie worried over the way she was staring at him. As if waiting for him to do or say something she found suspect.

  He nodded. “With the help of a few store clerks, we managed to find pretty much everything she wanted. Even a pair of black combat boots, which I thought were an odd choice for a girl. But she wanted them, and the young lady who checked us out assured me they were what a lot of the young girls are wearing.” He gave a ‘who knew?’ shrug, then picked up his burger and took a huge bite.

  Carrie and Lauren both chuckled. Lindy continued to eyeball him with suspicion, while Bernie wondered if maybe she’d misjudged the man all those months ago. Not that what had happened wasn’t serious. But she knew alcohol mixed with jealousy was a bad combination. And didn’t everyone deserve a second chance? Not that she was interested in rekindling their relationship. But there was no reason they couldn’t be friends. Especially since their kids seemed to have a budding connection.

  As Lauren began telling them about her and Caleb’s honeymoon in the Dells, Bernie cast a sidelong glance at John—only to discover him gazing at her.

  He smiled. “Penny for your thoughts?”

  Chapter 6

  “C’mon, Daddy. Hurry!”

  Mike chuckled as Maddie tugged his hand, urging him to walk faster as they made their way up the block toward Carrie’s house. Music and laughter filled the air, no doubt adding to her impatience.

  His mom carried a tray of her homemade, caramel-frosted brownies, her face beaming with pride and anticipation. Beverly Donovan loved these parties. The woman was a social butterfly.

  But he also suspected she was looking forward to seeing Andy Porter, Drew and Hannah’s dad. The old boy had told her how pretty she looked at Caleb and Lauren’s wedding, and she’d been acting like a giddy schoolgirl ever since.

  Mike led them through the side gate and into the madness that was a Matt and Carrie barbecue. It never failed to amaze him just how many people showed up to these things.

  “I wanna go swimming,” Maddie announced as she let go of his hand and started bouncing with excitement.

  His mother handed him the tray of brownies. “I’ll take her. You go get something to eat.”

  He kissed Maddie on the head and gave his mom’s shoulder a grateful pat. He’d skipped breakfast in anticipation of stuffing himself with brats and potato salad.

  His sister had gotten in later than expected and was an emotional basket case—his mother’s words—so she’d opted to sleep in, promising to swing by later in the day.

  Scanning the crowd as he wound his way through the mob of people, his heart leapt when his gaze landed on Bernadette. He ached to head over and talk to her, make her smile, possibly even laugh. Bernie had the most beautiful smile, and it had been way too long since she’d directed one his way.

  Then he realized who was parked on the bench beside her—John Marone.

  Mike’s chest grew tight. She couldn’t possibly be seeing the guy again…could she? According to rumor, things had ended abruptly between them, though no one seemed to know why. Not that it mattered; he’d just been happy to hear she was single again. And he’d finally decided to quit putzing around and make a full-blown effort to win her back. Marone was an added complication he definitely didn’t need.

  Maybe he should pull a ‘Drew’ and go punch the guy in the jaw. It had worked well enough on him at Lindy’s Valentine’s Day party. Mike, like an idiot, had decided that dancing with and kissing Lindy was a great way to make Bernie jealous. Talk about not thinking things through. Drew had nearly cold-cocked him, while Bernie raced out of there like her feet were on fire—and had refused to so much as look at him ever since. Well, until he’d forced the issue at the wedding reception. And while Lindy and Drew were happy and expecting their first child, he and Bernie were further apart than ever.

  Frustrated—and hungry, dammit—he forced himself to look away and stalked over to the spread of food any restaurant buffet would envy. Every kind of salad imaginable, plus chips, crackers, spreads, pickles, olives, fresh vegetables and fruits with several kinds of dips. Fresh-baked buns, breads, cookies, pies…you name it, Carrie had it.

  He set his mother’s brownies down among the other desserts, grabbed a plastic fork and plate, and worked his way down one side of the tables and up the other. After tossing a couple brat buns on top of his heaping plate, he headed over to the grills, where the guys all busily flipped every kind of meat you could think of.

  Drew looked up and saw him first, his smile somewhat slipping, though he did offer an amiable nod. The two of them
would probably never be close friends, but at least they could get along for everyone else’s sake. And if his mom got her way, they all might end up sitting across from each other at Thanksgiving. Wouldn’t that be just his luck?

  “Hey, man, what’s up?” Caleb said, grinning. He held up a perfectly grilled, foot-long hotdog, more than likely from Maplewood Meats in Green Bay. “Ready to pound some meat?”

  He chuckled. “Not yours, big boy.”

  “Officer Donovan is looking for a couple of these, I believe,” Matt said as he held up a golden-brown brat. “Am I right?”

  “You know it.” He opened his buns and held out his plate. “Damn, they smell good.”

  “Oh, sure. You’ll spread your buns for Mr. Hollywood,” Caleb teased, feigning disappointment.

  He laughed. “Sorry, dude. Don’t take it personally. I just happen to prefer girth over length.”

  Mike managed to hold a straight face while his friend snorted. Matt gave a ‘yeah, that’s right’ nod as he plunked a couple of the beer-flavored sausages into the buns. The guys continued to laugh as he picked one up and took a huge bite.

  He gestured around with the brat. “Looks like you guys may have broken a record, hey? Bet Carrie’s thrilled.”

  “Oh, yeah. She lives for these parties. I can’t remember the last time she was this excited.”

  “Having trouble keeping the little woman happy?” Mike teased. Though their public tiffs in the coffee shop were legendary, everyone knew those two were deeply in love.

  “Dude, please,” Hollywood boasted. “There isn’t another woman in Redemption half as happy as my Care Bear.”

  “I think Dana might have something to say about that.”

  Mike turned and watched as Charlie Russell approached, a plate of food in each hand. He and the EMT had worked together many times, and Mike had mad respect for the big guy, who could be a little intimidating if you didn’t know him.

  “Hey, man, glad you could make it,” Drew said, stepping around the grills to give his friend a thump on the back. “So, where is Dana?”